Shy Kinda Love by Deanna Eshler

Author:Deanna Eshler [Eshler, Deanna]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform
Published: 2015-02-26T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 21

The next morning I wake to Kade shaking me gently. “Shy, we need to get up.”

I open my eyes and see Kade standing next to my bed, dressed and looking ready for class. I mentally shake off the cobwebs then look at the clock. It’s 7:15. I roll onto my side and watch quietly as Kade gets dressed. I don’t want to get up, because when I do I’ll have to face all my demons that surfaced yesterday.

Kade leans over me and kisses my temple. “Come on, Filly, we can do this. I have no desire to sit through some stupid lecture, but I know you need to get to the barn. I’ll go to class, you go play with your horses, and we’ll talk later.” He brushes the hair off my face then kneels next to my bed, getting eye level with me. “Trust me, I would much prefer to stay wrapped up with you in this bed all morning.”

I try to smile but I know I don’t pull it off. Yesterday was horrible, and we still have so much to talk about.

As I sit up and stretch from my twenty-four-hour sleep, I see Kade messing with his phone. I kinda wanna smack him on the back of the head and yell “pay attention to me!” It’s probably selfish, but really, who could he possibly be texting right now… in the middle of my crisis. Okay, so I am being selfish, but I need him to say something insightful to help me figure out how to get through this.

As I argue with myself over my dramatic thoughts, I hear the first notes of a song. I look to his phone and realize he is playing a song, not texting. I look at him with a question in my eyes but he just gives me a half-smile. Kade reaches down and grasps my hand in his. He lifts my hand to his mouth and kisses my knuckle, and then I recognize the song: “Beneath Your Beautiful” by Labrinth.

I look up to see Kade watching me closely. If I were to imagine exactly how I wanted this boy to give me attention this morning, this is what I would see. In just a few short weeks Kade Cross has come to know and understand me so well.

We sit like that, my hand in his, staring at each other as the song plays on. When the song ends, Kade leans in, kisses me on the cheek, and whispers one word in my ear: “Please.”

On my drive to the barn that morning, I consider his request. Let him see inside, beneath the beautiful into the ugly. I know I can’t tell him everything, because that will risk my safety, as well as his. I can, however, tell him enough to make him see that my past will ruin his future. I just need to decide if that’s what I’m going to do.

***

I get back to our apartment for lunch and see that everyone is already there when I walk through the door.

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